It’s Not You, It’s Generational Trauma
By Candace van Dell.
Lately my work has been heavily focused on generation trauma and healing. Over the past decade or so I have focused entirely on getting unhealed empaths back into their power to live as their authentic selves. You see, when we are being authentically who we are, we come to the understanding that we were born perfect for our purpose.
Oftentimes clients come to me in their later years because they have done all the things and still feel unfulfilled in some way. That feeling and the reason for it is obvious to me but not always to them. When we grow up in a family system that gives us a role rather than a proper mirror, we grow up doing the things that got us accepted, approved of and a sense of belonging – oftentimes not even knowing that we are now not belonging to our own truth.
Generational trauma is the reason. For generations our parents and their parents had to function in an emotional dark age. No one was doing deep work on their authentic truth. They were either surviving the best way they could or trying to thrive in a system that did not always validate their deepest truth. Most emotional wounds were not worked through or worked out but rather they were buried, denied or just accepted as “part of life”.
When we start to wake up due to a life event that brings us face to face with our humanity and reality; a break up, heartbreak, deep loss, health crisis or spiritual awakening – we start to ask questions. We start to do some shadow work and see that our Mother has wounds, our Father has wounds and that leads us into seeing the same thing in our grandparents, etc.
I take great joy nowadays in not only being an example of major family healing but also seeing the past generations in my own life more clearly in reality, not the facade. As I started to deeply heal years and years of misidentification, perfectionism, overachieving and codependence, I also woke up to my true potential. This is big for your entire family. When you reach to your authenticity, they feel the effects. This does not mean they will change, it means they have the choice to or not. What this process ultimately does is show you that deep inside, you are exactly who you were as a small child. The problem was that who you were back then was great, but the wounded heritage could not understand your authenticity against their own denial of theirs.
When we can take responsibility for our own healing, we can stop taking the over-responsibility for other peoples’ unhealed wounds and projections. The best place to start is to look at where you overly blame yourself and where you feel lost. Start by taking the blame away and see what is there. The gift in healing ourselves is also energetically healing the past generations and being the example of an empowered self. When you change, the rest of the puzzle will go through a shift because of you.
Candace van Dell is an international Spiritual Teacher and Coach. She has been facilitating deep emotional healing and empowerment for unhealed empaths the past 11 years. You can check out her many online courses, group coaching and one on one work on her website. https://www.candacevandell.com
