Codependency vs Personal Evolution

By Cheryl Fidelman, The Conscious Codependence™ Coach.

If your personal evolution is important to you then your essential task is to free yourself to develop your uniqueness.  Codependency is NOT unique. It’s wildly common and I’m out to normalize it. You’re not different because you’re Codependent. You’re common. You belong. You’re perfectly normal.  Most of the people that I work with will say in some way at some point that they must be the only one as Codependent as they are.  Codependents think they  are unique because they’re so used to not belonging and feeling broken, isolated & different in one or more areas of their life. This is a distorted view of uniqueness. Codependency is NOT unique, rather it STEALS our uniqueness. 

Codependency is an epidemic. It’s a wildly common group of behaviors and habits that get passed along from generation to generation. It’s practically embedded in the human condition. To leave yourself to focus more on another person’s reality than your own is a carbon copy part of the human psyche that we keep repeating, human to human to human. It keeps us from evolving individually and collectively.  Every time you put your value & safety in another person’s hands and leave the relationship with yourself,  your childhood hands are on the steering wheel of your life. Your codependent habits and behaviors will suppress you in ALL categories – emotionally, psychologically, physically & spiritually.  

Personal regression stunts your growth. Codependency stops your personal evolution.

Your uniqueness lies just on the other side of your Codependency. It may be scary to be unique and to truly be you in your relationships. Sometimes repression, people pleasing and some form of conforming can become our best efforts to sustain connection. But it’s likely that the connection that you are working to maintain is the relationship that doesn’t include the real you. If and when your connection with yourself and your uniqueness becomes more important than any other relationship you have, then you will have the MOST UNIQUE, safe and multidimensional connections with others. 

YOUR PERSONAL EVOLUTION is your access to true intimacy. WE HAVE TO EVOLVE. Evolution is one of the only objective, natural truths to how life moves. If you’re middle aged but you’re a child in your relationship, then you will only give & receive love as you were able to (or not able to) as a child.  

In The Conscious Codependence™ Process, we shed all of the ways that we revert to younger versions of ourselves so that we are released into  the natural cycle of personal growth and evolution. You’ll shed these automatic, traumatically inherited behaviors so that you can release your uniqueness. Now let’s lean into the true essence of you. The version of you that feels safe, creative, free, surrendered, connected, innocent and curious in all of your relationships is the REAL YOU, the evolved you and the you that you’ll become.  

BECAUSE OUR RELATIONSHIP w/OURSELVES is WHERE it ALL BEGINS. 

You can get your FREE PDF of The 3 Codes to Clear Codependency at www.cherylfidelman.com. The PDF lists the common developmental roots & behavioral patterns of each Code and also some questions to customize them to your experience.

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