3 Secrets For Lasting Healing

By Marshall Burtcher.

Living without the codependency that gives one a map on how to relate with one’s self, others, and the world is like living in a foreign country.  You don’t know the language, the customs, the expectations, and how to interpret what is happening.

This is why it can be deeply challenging to exit codependency fully, as it acts as a legend on the map of life, helping us understand what things mean and how to react or respond.

I’ve learned three secrets that help me make this journey easier emotionally and even more playful and fun.

Secret #1:  Permission To Discover

Human beings share a trait that we’re nearly universally very good at:  Discovering and understanding.

This is something you’re doing right now – discovering and understanding my three secrets.

It is a thing you’ve done since you were born.  It is how you and I master skills and abilities to interact with and influence the world around us.

This kind of permission allows you to start noticing what you’re aware of, exploring it, and following it.  This is how you restore your sense of intuition and creativity.

You can start cultivating this permission with this question:  “What shifts when I give myself permission, just for now, to acknowledge what I am discovering?”

This will help cultivate a space of safety and allow you to adapt to this shift in your healing.

Secret #2:  Unblending Worth From Failure

For many of us, failure was villainous and met with so much harm growing up, creating an emotional association of anxiety, fear, and shame with it.

Yet, it is actually our ally.  It reveals to us what is working and what wasn’t, helping us to master the skills we’re learning.

Failure becomes this tool and power in our lives when we unblend our worth from failure.  This allows us to start experiencing and understanding ourselves as beings that are whole and innately worthy rather than machines that must produce.  

This starts with the use of this question:  “What shifts when I take back my worth from my failures?”

What arises for you when you consider this?  What kind of relief do you notice?  Anytime relief, expansion, or rest emerge, your body and mind are becoming aligned with your true nature of wholeness and power.

Use this approach to start creating some safety to be able to grant yourself permission to fail.

Then you can use this question:  “What do I discover when I give myself permission to fail?”

Let’s see what reveals itself!

Secret #3:  Permission To Play

Play is a key practice to building back your creativity, your connection with your innate brilliance, and helping soothe and empower your mind, body, and purpose in life.  

Yet, often, guilt and shame get in the way of playing.

We’re taught that it is selfish, a waste of time and resources, and we should be heavily productive instead.

No wonder burnout is so prevalent!  

Now, play can be challenging to access, so we start with a permission question:  “What shifts when I give myself permission to be playful for the next 5 minutes?” 

Then pause and notice what changes for you.  Notice what feels spontaneous, energizing, and curious. What brings a smile to your face?  

Those are the playful things to follow.

Give these three secrets time and priority in your healing and watch how much easier and faster your journey becomes.

Go gently!

Marshall Burtcher turns codependents into confident, fulfilled creators of their lives. Begin your journey back to peace, power, and security with his 15-week experience starting March 2nd, 2025, FOUNDATION. Click the link to learn more: https://foundation.freetheself.com