Own Your Codependency

By Cheryl Fidelman; The Codependent Awakening.

It’s a common Codependent habit to refer more to other people’s behaviors than your own.  And when you are pointing outwards to someone else, and they are pointing to you, then you’re in a Codependent stronghold that will not release – kinda like one of those Chinese finger trap things. If you’re telling someone what they’re doing, how they’re being, and what they need to understand or change and they’re doing the same to you, then neither one of you is considering yourselves as a co-creator in the issue.  You’re actually leaning into the righteousness of Codependency.  You think you’re right about what another person is doing while simultaneously playing the victim to what you think you’re right about.  

In your Codependent moments, you disconnect from your Self and point outward. Instead of feeling your feelings, you either react on their behalf or blame the other person for making you feel that way. You may be feeling misunderstood, misinterpreted or ignored but instead of being with your feelings you ignore them and tell someone else how they’re feeling. You overlook your Self. You don’t include your Self but it may seem as if they are not including you. The Codependent illusion is that the other person is over-looking you. The first person for you to tell what they’re doing, how they’re being and what they need to understand or change is YOU. The first person for you to include you is YOU.

Your access to being included in any given moment is to know your Self. Know what hurts you. Notice how you hold your body when you’re regressing. Listen to your own words when you feel bullied or diminished and take note of what you’re saying. Notice when you leave your Self in order to figure out someone else. And own your Codependency. The access to owning your Codependency is to know, from the deepest place of wisdom inside of you, the interpretations, projections & beliefs of your Codependency versus those of your True Nature. 

Your Codependency is NOT YOU. It’s the regressive side of you that has its own set of beliefs. It has been set up to have you leave your Self and step into someone else’s world when you feel threatened. Who you become in that moment is not YOU. It’s your Imposter, your Codependent Mask, your Traumatic Identity, your Default – these are all of the versions of you that we get to know deeply in The Conscious Codependence™ Process. 

When you deeply & profoundly get to know where, when & why you leave your Self, then you will own your Codependency & learn to stay with your Self. You leave your Self in order to keep someone else from leaving you. But when you own your Codependency, YOU will no longer leave YOU. You will meet and live from the wisdom of your True nature. You will then be operating from your True Nature, the real, true you. Owning the many identities of your Codependency will have you living from the deepest wisdom of your True nature in any relationship – most importantly your relationship with your Self. 

There isn’t one relationship in your life that doesn’t reflect your relationship with your Self. 

YOUR RELATIONSHIP w/ YOURSELF is WHERE it ALL BEGINS

You can get your FREE PDF of The 3 Codes to Clear Codependency at www.cherylfidelman.com. The PDF lists the common developmental roots & behavioral patterns of each Code and also some questions to customize them to your experience.