Category: Let’s Create Healthy Relationships Now

The amends cop-out

I’ve been around the personal development block long enough to know the difference between someone doing the hard work and someone just polishing their own ego. Right now, there is an absolute epidemic of...

ReThink Controlling Everything: How to Stop Micromanaging the Universe and Finally Let Go

Hi, it’s iKE ALLEN, Co-Founder of Codependency Recovery, AVAIYA and Creator of ReThink & ReThink Reset™. This ReThink exercise is for the person who has a backup plan for their backup plan. If you...

How to Stop Caring What Other People Think of You

By Laura K. Connell. Do you care too much about what other people think of you? Do you internalize other people’s opinions to the point that it’s paralyzing? If so, this article will help...

Codependency is Like a Hall of Mirrors

By Cheryl Fidelman – Your Codependent Awakening. I see Codependency as a consistent & ever changing stream of fictional projections that we live inside of as if they are real. It’s an abstract vision...

Emotional Independence Day: How to Free Yourself From the Chains of a Toxic Relationship

By Stephanie McPhail, MS. For most people in the United States, July 4th brings thoughts of fireworks, BBQs, and red, white, and blue celebrations of freedom. But if you’ve survived a toxic relationship, you...

Relearning to Speak Up: Finding Your Voice After Codependency

By Stacy Brookman, Resilience & Leadership Coach. Codependency teaches us to put everyone else first. We learn to keep the peace, smooth things over, and hide our true thoughts. Over time, this erodes our...

Why You Fantasize & What To Do Instead

By Marshall Burtcher. I was going to write about the next two core emotional needs we have, but the frequency of students and clients facing the challenge of becoming sober regarding their relationship tells...

ReThink Boundaries: How to Stop Merging and Start Existing

By iKE ALLEN, Founder of AVAIYA and Creator of ReThink & Somatic ReThink™ Years ago, like many of you, I was trying to figure out how to make everyone around me happy. I thought...

You Don’t Have to Earn Rest or Joy: Letting Go of Productivity as Proof of Worth

By Susan Ball, Life Redesign Specialist. For a long time, I believed that stillness was suspect. That rest had to be earned. That joy was a reward for productivity. I learned that joy and...

How to Overcome Sensitivity to Criticism After Narcissistic Abuse

By Laura K. Connell. Are you overly sensitive to criticism? When someone points out something you might have done wrong, do you fall apart? Sensitivity to criticism is a common trait among survivors of...

Codependency is SO Sneaky

By Cheryl Fidelman, The Codependent Awakening™ Coach. Your Codependency may not be obvious. When people communicate with you, they’re interfacing with someone that seems fairly well adjusted – possibly even very high functioning. Your...

ReThink People-Pleasing: How to Stop Performing and Start Seeing What Is

By iKE ALLEN, Founder of AVAIYA and Creator of ReThink & Somatic ReThink™ Years ago, like many of you, I spent a massive amount of energy trying to curate the perfect environment. If I...

This Is How to Deal with Anger Toward an Addict

By Candace Plattor. Is it ever ok to get angry with the addict I love? The truth is that many people who love addicts are people-pleasers, which is another term for codependency. My simple definition of codependency is when we put others’ needs ahead of our own, on a fairly consistent basis. Codependent people sometimes feel very guilty when they try to have their own needs met – believing, in some cases, that they are not worthy of having their needs...

7 Ways to Recognize A Toxic Relationship & What You Can Do About It

By Stephanie McPhail. Along with physical wellness and financial security, having healthy relationships is one of the biggest contributors to a balanced and fulfilling life. Sometimes, even when we appear to have achieved these things on the surface, there are indicators that we’re lacking the necessary ingredients to sustain them. When they go unaddressed, these detrimental factors will eventually undermine the contentment we desire. By learning to recognize the signs of imbalance, we can begin to take steps to correct them and...

Codependency Recovery: 7 Steps for Healing Yourself and Your Relationships

By Michelle Farris. One size does NOT fit all when it comes to codependency. Whether you relate to a few traits or all of them – recovering from codependency looks different on every person! In relationship, the codependent person ends up doing most of the giving. You give way past the point of it hurting because you need that person to make you feel whole. When codependency is an issue, you crave other people’s approval. You’re constantly looking outside of...

What Is Codependency?

By Kevin Petersen. Addiction. It’s a disease that affects the entire family. When a person suffers from addiction, it creates a detrimental impact on one’s life, and it can be difficult to watch someone you care about go through this. But let’s face it: it’s common for family members to take it upon themselves to try to heal a loved one struggling with addiction. Without proper treatment, this can turn into a toxic..

The Life-Changing Insight That Helped Me Finally Break Free From Codependency

By Marlena Tillhon. Traditional codependency literature has you believe that codependency usually emerges in romantic relationships. We only become aware of it once we’ve had our hearts broken a few dozen times and leap from unhealthy relationship to unhealthy relationship. In my personal and professional experience, codependency expresses itself through us in all areas of life and not just in our love lives...

Stop Gaslighting Your Inner Child

By Candace van Dell. In my work, I often talk about what we do to our inner child is what was done to us in childhood. We learn to parent our inner child, punish her/him, neglect, reject or abandon (if this is what was done to us). Many of these experiences create codependency...

Codependency and Childhood Neglect: What You Need To Know

By Briana MacWilliam. How does childhood neglect contribute to codependent relationships in adulthood? In this article we will explore a definition for childhood neglect and codependent relationships, and explore how one begets the other. You will also learn how to recognize if you have experienced childhood neglect...

The Natural Attraction of Codependents and Narcissists

By Carista Luminare. I have been a relationship counselor for 44 years, specializing in how the bond with our primary attachment figures impacts our adult intimacy dynamics. Our childhood experiences and development define our capacity to know what Love IS (and is not). Because of my childhood and later life relationships...

Are You Walking on Eggshells in Your Relationship?

By Rhoberta Shaler, Ph.D. When you must tread lightly because of a fragile ego, tiptoe around someone’s short temper, or be careful what you say or how you say it… that’s walking on eggshells. Do you recognize that you are walking on eggshells? It’s a difficult and uncomfortable way to be in relationship with someone! Are you always...

How To Cultivate Self-Trust

By Krista Resnick. Codependency created much pain and agony in my life. One of the ways it manifested most was my extreme lack of self trust. I would overthink decisions to death, fearful that I would choose the ‘wrong one,’ or upset someone if they didn’t agree or were disappointed by my choice. I was terrified of...

What Codependency Really Is & What It’s Doing For You

By Marshall Burtcher. Have you been told any of these things about codependency:

That it is a disease?
That it is an identity?
That it is part of who you are?
That it is permanent?
That you’ll have to cope with it for the rest of your life?...

What Does Codependency Look Like in Family Relationships?

By Yasmin Kerkez. Codependency is certainly not a new condition, and awareness of codependency is growing in the greater community. At the same time, it’s also one of those labels that many of us have heard of but don’t know exactly what it involves. In the media and online, it is most commonly linked to romantic relationships, people who exist in a caregiver role...