Do you find yourself constantly clinging to the hope that a Hijackal—my term for someone difficult, unreasonable, potentially with narcissistic tendencies—will miraculously become a healthy, interested, empathetic, equal partner? If you catch yourself thinking...
Eda LeShan, an American writer and educator, once wrote, “When we truly care for ourselves, it becomes possible to care far more profoundly about other people.” If you reflect on your upbringing – was...
When you hear the word “abandonment,” you likely picture being left behind in a physical sense. But have you considered the idea of abandoning yourself? Sounds impossible, right? But that’s exactly what it is...
Have you ever caught yourself relying too much on others for your self-worth and validation? Well, it’s time to break free from that codependent cycle and embrace the equality of healthy interdependence! Dive deep...
Do you often feel depleted, exhausted, and rundown, but can’t identify why? Those are all the signs of imbalance in your body–like malnutrition. Malnutrition is an imbalance between what your body needs and what...
GOOD NEWS! The biggest A-HA that many folks have is coming face-to-face with their learned co-dependence. Yay! Co-dependence creeps in when relationships are unequal, when one person has more power and agency than the...
AVAIYA’s next free online event, Healing From Narcissistic Abuse & Relationship Trauma begins soon. Don’t miss it! According to Guinness World Records, the world’s oldest person is a 115 year old named María Branyas...
Emotional terrorism sounds as scary as it is and is as scary as it sounds. Recognizing it is a must. If you have co-dependent tendencies and traits, you are easier prey for emotional terrorists....
Are you feeling lonely in your relationship, even though you’re with a partner? If so, it may be because they are emotionally unavailable, and you have become a little too dependent on them for...
Feeling resentful? When you feel it, do you immediately beat yourself up and tell yourself you’re not being nice, fair, patient, or compassionate enough? Instead of taking it on as a fault in yourself,...
Do you feel you’re expected to be a doormat for someone? And, like it? If you’re codependent, you may not realize that you have become a doormat. Time to get up! You’ll suffer from...
Ever awoke to the early morning anger of a toxic person? Nothing has really happened yet, and already you’re scrambling to say or do something that will appease them, make them feel better, and...
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This Is How to Deal with Anger Toward an Addict
By Candace Plattor. Is it ever ok to get angry with the addict I love? The truth is that many people who love addicts are people-pleasers, which is another term for codependency. My simple definition of codependency is when we put others’ needs ahead of our own, on a fairly consistent basis. Codependent people sometimes feel very guilty when they try to have their own needs met – believing, in some cases, that they are not worthy of having their needs...
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7 Ways to Recognize A Toxic Relationship & What You Can Do About It
By Stephanie McPhail. Along with physical wellness and financial security, having healthy relationships is one of the biggest contributors to a balanced and fulfilling life. Sometimes, even when we appear to have achieved these things on the surface, there are indicators that we’re lacking the necessary ingredients to sustain them. When they go unaddressed, these detrimental factors will eventually undermine the contentment we desire. By learning to recognize the signs of imbalance, we can begin to take steps to correct them and...
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Codependency Recovery: 7 Steps for Healing Yourself and Your Relationships
By Michelle Farris. One size does NOT fit all when it comes to codependency. Whether you relate to a few traits or all of them – recovering from codependency looks different on every person! In relationship, the codependent person ends up doing most of the giving. You give way past the point of it hurting because you need that person to make you feel whole. When codependency is an issue, you crave other people’s approval. You’re constantly looking outside of...
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By Kevin Petersen. Addiction. It’s a disease that affects the entire family. When a person suffers from addiction, it creates a detrimental impact on one’s life, and it can be difficult to watch someone you care about go through this. But let’s face it: it’s common for family members to take it upon themselves to try to heal a loved one struggling with addiction. Without proper treatment, this can turn into a toxic..
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The Life-Changing Insight That Helped Me Finally Break Free From Codependency
By Marlena Tillhon. Traditional codependency literature has you believe that codependency usually emerges in romantic relationships. We only become aware of it once we’ve had our hearts broken a few dozen times and leap from unhealthy relationship to unhealthy relationship. In my personal and professional experience, codependency expresses itself through us in all areas of life and not just in our love lives...
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Stop Gaslighting Your Inner Child
By Candace van Dell. In my work, I often talk about what we do to our inner child is what was done to us in childhood. We learn to parent our inner child, punish her/him, neglect, reject or abandon (if this is what was done to us). Many of these experiences create codependency...
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Codependency and Childhood Neglect: What You Need To Know
By Briana MacWilliam. How does childhood neglect contribute to codependent relationships in adulthood? In this article we will explore a definition for childhood neglect and codependent relationships, and explore how one begets the other. You will also learn how to recognize if you have experienced childhood neglect...
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The Natural Attraction of Codependents and Narcissists
By Carista Luminare. I have been a relationship counselor for 44 years, specializing in how the bond with our primary attachment figures impacts our adult intimacy dynamics. Our childhood experiences and development define our capacity to know what Love IS (and is not). Because of my childhood and later life relationships...
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Are You Walking on Eggshells in Your Relationship?
By Rhoberta Shaler, Ph.D. When you must tread lightly because of a fragile ego, tiptoe around someone’s short temper, or be careful what you say or how you say it… that’s walking on eggshells. Do you recognize that you are walking on eggshells? It’s a difficult and uncomfortable way to be in relationship with someone! Are you always...
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By Krista Resnick. Codependency created much pain and agony in my life. One of the ways it manifested most was my extreme lack of self trust. I would overthink decisions to death, fearful that I would choose the ‘wrong one,’ or upset someone if they didn’t agree or were disappointed by my choice. I was terrified of...
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What Codependency Really Is & What It’s Doing For You
By Marshall Burtcher. Have you been told any of these things about codependency:
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What Does Codependency Look Like in Family Relationships?
By Yasmin Kerkez. Codependency is certainly not a new condition, and awareness of codependency is growing in the greater community. At the same time, it’s also one of those labels that many of us have heard of but don’t know exactly what it involves. In the media and online, it is most commonly linked to romantic relationships, people who exist in a caregiver role...
