The Great Awakening from Codependency (Self & System)
By Candace van Dell.
I was having a conversation with a Client earlier this week. She and I have been working
together for a few months now in my Inner work program and now she has started doing some
one on one’s with me. She told me that in just those 8 weeks in Inner work, she had the biggest
awakening of her life: WHAT HAPPENED TO HER WAS NOT OK AND WAS NOT HER FAULT.
For the first time in my 52 year old client’s life she felt VALIDATED. This level of validation and
healing brought her into exploring the topics of Codependency and narcissism on a greater
scale. She came to me in awwwww of how popular this topic has become. She finally has
words to explain her experience and she was profoundly perplexed to see how many others in my
groups and other groups have the SAME experiences as her. This is a woman who has felt
entirely alone the majority of her life. All of a sudden she feels seen, heard and healed.
After our session she had a burning question. “Candace, how do you explain it? How do you
make sense of narcissism in this world?” Now I could only share with her my own personal
opinion. But as I started talking, many things were clicking and by the end of our talk, she said
“drop the mic” haha.
I told her that I believe there is a higher will and a free will. The higher will is lived through the
heart. The free will can be comprised to survival instincts, fear, power, control and conformity.
Our goal in my opinion is to line up with the higher will as often as we can. To me this feels like
guidance over ego. Confidence over insecurity and unity over separation. I told her that many
people have lost sight of this higher will. They become little God’s and create their own rules,
measures and ultimately SYSTEMS.
We talked about how people are starting to get more HONEST or as I like to say “Real about
how you feel so you can heal.” As we are awakening we are coming together. We are talking
about these issues and feeling less isolated and alone. We are sharing and in this community
environment, we are empowering our truths, our hearts and this old system is breaking down.
I told her that as we heal one soul at a time, this free will system will crumble and those of us
who are empowered in the truth of our own hearts will lift up and become the new system of
I hope this shines a little inspiration your way today.
Candace van Dell, Inner work expert, highly sensitive people and toxic relationship dynamics.
Watch her Youtube lessons for free! https://www.youtube.com/c/candacevandell