Who Cares If They’re A Narcissist? Focus On Empowerment and Healing Instead

By Stephanie McPhail, MS.

The world of dating and relationships is fraught with complexities, misunderstandings, and yes, occasionally the downright toxic. Too often, professional women who’ve encountered a toxic relationship find themselves falling into a rabbit hole of researching narcissism. But here’s a pivotal question – who cares if they’re a narcissist? The focus, dear reader, needs to shift from diagnosing the ex to empowering the self.

Identifying The Narcissism Obsession

The internet is teeming with resources on narcissism. You’ve likely encountered numerous articles, quizzes, and video content describing ‘classic narcissistic traits,’ making it easy to become engrossed in this endeavor. This incessant research often stems from a need for understanding, a need for closure. However, it’s essential to acknowledge that while understanding the dynamics of toxic relationships can be therapeutic, the real healing starts when we turn the lens onto ourselves.

The Trap of The Victim Mentality

It’s comforting and perhaps even vindicating to label someone as a narcissist, as it shifts the blame squarely onto them. However, staying stuck in this ‘victim mentality’ can be an unconscious way of avoiding personal responsibility. It’s an easy way out, a path that diverts us from looking at our own patterns, our role in the dynamic, and ultimately, our healing.

The Power Shift: From External to Internal

Rather than placing power in the hands of a label or an external source, why not reclaim it? The path to genuine healing and thriving after a toxic relationship isn’t about diagnosing someone else’s personality disorder—it’s about developing a profound understanding of ourselves.

Focus on answering these introspective questions: What led me to accept less than I deserve? How can I cultivate self-love and respect? What patterns do I need to break to ensure I don’t fall into the same toxic cycle? These are the areas where a qualified coach can provide invaluable guidance, helping navigate these personal reflections.

Investing in Professional Guidance

A qualified coach doesn’t merely offer advice; they equip you with tools and strategies to facilitate powerful internal shifts. Their expertise allows you to navigate the nuances of your individual situation and offer support as you embark on this self-discovery journey. More importantly, they can provide a non-judgmental space for you to safely confront and heal from your experiences.

Returning to Wholeness, Peace, Confidence, and Personal Freedom

The road to healing from a toxic relationship involves acknowledging past hurts, understanding your own patterns, developing self-love, and setting healthy boundaries. It’s a journey towards wholeness, peace, confidence, and personal freedom. You don’t merely survive a toxic relationship—you can thrive and bloom, stronger and wiser than ever before.


So, who cares if they’re a narcissist? It’s time to shift focus—from them to you. The process of healing, empowering yourself, and growing beyond the past trauma is crucial. Don’t let the past define you, but let it be a stepping stone towards a stronger, healthier, and happier version of yourself. Remember, your healing and growth lie not in the diagnosis of others but in the nurturing of yourself.

In addition to being regular contributors to the #1 Online Magazine For Codependency Recovery, Stephanie and David are a husband and wife coaching team who specialize in helping professional women rediscover themselves and create their best lives after toxic relationships. Sign up for their free masterclass where you’ll discover the 3 step framework that is guaranteed to help you heal, transform & thrive: https://www.go.beinglovedshouldnthurt.com

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