Spiritual Misinterpretations As You Awaken & Heal
By Candace van Dell.
For my dear recovering Codependents…… I got you! In my 10 years as a coach, I have seen highly sensitive people or what I like to often call unhealed empaths or codependents, struggle with the HUGE misinterpretation as you start to heal and awaken. THE UNIVERSE BETRAYED ME.
Now I want to explain this from a place of having gone through this incredibly PAINFUL and CONFUSING time. As we start to heal and awaken we do not realize that we are still engaging in a conditioned Codependent behavior regarding the UNIVERSE.
I had my awakening at 15 years old. On my 16th birthday I was sure I had figured out who I truly was. I understood that I was worthy in God’s eyes. I also unconsciously was measuring this reflection of worth in my external environment. I saw that things were working out for me now that I had adopted this new internal sense of worth. I was seeing synchronicity and alignment. I had a dream and it was starting to happen for me. I was so blissed out about how this works. I believed in myself and my environment was agreeing.
However, the challenge came about when my environment started to reflect OLD DOUBTS about myself that were still lingering. I immediately started to fall into doubt and fear. “Wait a minute, why would the Universe allow this to happen?” How many of you can relate? Where was spiritual law? What was going on? Did I do something wrong? Was I wrong about thinking that I was worthy of my dreams and worthy of believing in myself? More of a stress was in how this all worked. WHY was this trigger happening at such a tender time? I was not fully sure of myself yet. This felt so cruel and wrong to me.
This started me on my deep search towards spiritual law and the Universe. I fell into this self doubt. I fell into many questions about myself and my reality. I will call this my existential crisis. Then what happens is we fall into this self blame of “Why am I not able to BELIEVE in myself in the face of this challenge? What is wrong with me?”
Are you still with me on this?
This experience in my teen years led me to a deep connection to myself (after years of pain) and also an eventual unconditional love for my fears, flaws, doubts and humanity. But first it led me into the abyss of self criticism and frustration.
When we grow up in a family and society that judges and tells us we need to be different than we naturally are to be approved of or loved, we misinterpret the universe as also punishing and possibly confusing.
What I know now is that the Universe can only mirror to us the blocks that are still within us. The beliefs that are in the way of us being able to fully claim the GOODNESS, the WORTHINESS that the Universe has always known us to be. It is our work to dive into these places and do the work so that we can line up with the SECURE BELIEF the universe would love to always mirror back.
Candace van Dell is an international Spiritual Coach & Healer. She specializes in empowering highly sensitive people or what she calls the unhealed empath. Find her work at: www.candacevandell.com