Speaking Up About The Pain

By Candace van Dell.

I tell people my work is about radical honesty healing trauma.  Why is this the case?  When we get “Real about how we feel we begin to heal”.  This has been my slogan for a decade because it is the reality for me and thousands of clients I put on this regimen.  When we don’t tell the truth out loud, we are keeping this part of our emotional truth in the shadow.  The reason this is so detrimental is because we are inadvertently telling our inner child that this is shameful.  We hide from this trauma of being Codependent.  

You must know why you are codependent.  It is not your fault.  It is the fault of the trapped feelings that continue to play out the old scenario. When you can say out loud, “I feel unworthy, I feel rejected, I don’t belong, I can’t make them happy, I left myself to feel safe, I look for a savior, I want to be in my power,” you are allowing yourself to see your truth and then instead of rejecting this as others have rejected your authentic self, you start to claim it.  You start to REPARENT yourself in that moment.

You start to claim your God given power back from the people you had to give it away to.  Many of you are afraid to claim it because the pain of losing it again would devastate you.  You get to decide if you give it away to someone you deem more powerful or not.  You don’t need them for your survival anymore but your inner child is not aware of this because it is still functioning from the past behaviors.

You can save yourself when you recognize that you no longer need a savior.  You only need a savior when you keep performing the action of looking to be rescued or saved from your own insecurities.  So let’s build you back up.  Let’s practice today to TELL THE TRUTH out loud and start to claim these feelings that are in your shadow and want to shine with truth, with confidence, with ownership of what happened to you and how YOU are the change.

Give yourself the permission slip to choose YOU by choosing all of your emotions and sharing your story with yourself out loud and maybe with safe others.

Candace van Dell is an international spiritual coach and teacher. She had over 600 youtube videos on the topics of generational wounds, high sensitivity and toxic relationships. Check out her ground breaking course here: https://Emotionalrehab.candacevandell.com

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