3 Things To Trust In Yourself if You’re To Thrive

By Marshall Burtcher.

Trusting one’s self is crucial to disengaging and ending your dependency on codependency to build emotional safety, belonging, and self-worth.  

There are three essential things to trust in yourself that deepen your liberation, freedom, and personal power.

Essential thing #1:  Trusting the legitimacy of your lived experience

Essential thing #2: Trusting the reality of your worth

Essential thing #3:  Trusting your senses

Let’s look at each:

Essential thing #1:  Trusting the legitimacy of your lived experience

Trusting that your lived experience is real, valid, and important is crucial to helping you heal from the impact of gaslighting and crazy making, and reconnecting to your emotions, inner wisdom, and your own awareness about what happened to you.

Without this reconnection, the pain from the trauma you endured cannot be accessed, processed, and brought to rest.  This is because the pain requires you to believe it is real before it can be nurtured into peace.  

Further, when you trust the legitimacy of your lived experience, you stop questioning if what you went through was real.  This empowers you to respond faster to boundary violations, confront problems, and be more aware of your intuition and guidance. 

This increases your safety and your emotional well-being, helping you build healthier friendships, community, and romantic relationships.

Essential thing #2: Trusting the reality of your worth

Codependency has us outsource our worth.  This happens through a habit called “external orientation”.  Basically, your brain seeks external validation and input to process and interpret its own experiences, worth, and existence.

This gives rejection and approval extreme power over your sense of belonging and worth.  You quickly begin to seek approval and minimize the potential of rejection by people-pleasing, attempting to be perfect, avoiding or minimizing problems in the relationship, ignoring your own pain, boundaries, and wants, and prioritizing them feeling good about you.

When you trust your worth is real and is independent of all conditions, rejection and approval lose much of their significance and power.  You are better able to stay resourced in your well-being and stay attuned to your emotions, intuition, tolerate the discomfort of disappointing others, and be able to follow through on your boundaries.

Codependency largely stops happening when you’ve properly connected to and embodied your real, innate worth.

Essential thing #3:  Trusting your senses

Codependency has us dismissing our senses because it can lead to conflict, to loss, to trouble and pain, so we override it with hopes and fantasies.  This act of denial perpetuates the patterns of choosing unhealthy, unavailable partners, sabotaging one’s desires, and perpetuating codependent relationships.

To thrive, we must attune to and trust our own senses.  This means we’re listening to our body’s responses to things.  We’re learning to discern and follow our own intuitive voice.  We’re slowing down and taking our time to respond rather than letting our initial impulses drive us into situations and agreements that don’t serve our well-being.

Your senses are wise.  Healing allows you to access them and use them as part of a guidance system to help you make the choices that matter to you the most.

When you develop trust in these three things, you will find yourself feeling more confident, safe, clear, and directed in your life.

Go gently as you do this work!

Marshall Burtcher is a Codependency Transformation Expert. He specializes in helping codependents, people-pleasers, and perfectionists get aligned with their real worth, purpose, and satisfaction so they create a life they enjoy. Break through the gaps that keep you stuck in his free workshop here: https://workshop.freetheself.com

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