Break Free From Codependency in Family: The First Step!

By Yasmin Kerkez.

Breaking free from codependency in family IS possible. The steps to take are in keeping with key areas of self-love and empowerment. Through focus on these two areas of wellbeing, it is much easier to achieve success in reclaiming power of self from codependency.

Your success will hinge on the following: breaking free from a place of total selflessness, to acting from a place of self-awareness and putting your needs first. It’s important to remember that this is not selfish. This is healthy, and will only strengthen your interaction in any ongoing family issues and relationships.

First, it’s essential to remind ourselves of the importance of emotional awareness – and the need to really know our self. We need to take time to recognize our own areas of emotional trauma and struggles. We need to remind ourselves of all the qualities that are unique to us and make us who we are — our wonderful qualities and all the parts that create our personal identity and character. We need to remind ourselves of the
things that we want to achieve in life, or that bring us joy, and all that we value in life.

Just as important as emotional self-awareness is the need to love our self for all those unique parts of our self — and for all the things that make up who we are. We need to love our self and not rely on others to recognize or approve of these things. We need to be the ones that recognize, approve of, and celebrate all the things that make us who we are.

Lastly, we need to find the inner strength to give value to who we are, and believe that our voice and needs matter. We need to find the inner strength to be who we are, to voice our feelings and respect our needs. This doesn’t mean we become demanding, or even that we need to make public what our desires and needs are. But it means that we listen to our self, and we prioritize our feelings and needs and we give them recognition.

We start to put ourselves first — or at least recognize that our feelings and needs are every bit as valuable and worthy of respect as the feelings and needs of others. I encourage you to spend some time really reminding yourself of these fundamental strengths. To remind yourself of the following:

  • It’s not selfish to put your needs first. It’s not selfish to recognize your needs.
  • Self-love does not rely on how much others love you, or how much recognition they give you.
  • Your worth does not rely on the approval of, or recognition from others.
  • You are not responsible for solving the problems of your family member. You can care for them and guide them, but you cannot fix them.
  • You can’t control the life of others.
  • The issues your family member is facing are not a rejection of who you are: they are a reflection of their own personal struggles and personal values.
  • Your voice matters, your feelings matter, your happiness matters, your life and routine matter.

We can easily feel that breaking free from codependency in family is an insurmountable task. While it may be difficult, and take time to break free from behavioral patterns that we’ve spent years nurturing, it is possible to change our ways and our behavioral patterns. By starting with these two most powerful areas of empowerment — emotional self-awareness and self-love — it is possible to find the strength needed so that you can take the necessary steps to freedom from codependency.

Codependency is very common in family, and if you experience this, you are certainly not alone. Getting help with codependency issues can help you reclaim your life. If you feel that this article on codependency in family spoke to you, and you need help in this area, then please consider our Healing Harbor Membership, which offers weekly help, support and lessons with how to navigate relationships issues and conflict in family. You can break free from codependency in family and reclaim your life! Please visit the following link to learn more:

2 Responses

  1. Vivian Morgan says:

    I absolutely love the tone and information here. Sometimes it is shaming to consider that our love and lack of boundaries and desire to help is such a negative thing. This also offers me some affirmations that I can read daily to myself as I start my day – reminders of my own okay-ness!

  2. Janet says:

    I get confused about self- love and self-acceotance if I have codependency issues. How am I to love and accept myself if I have these “bad” qualities?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *