How to Create From a Place of Deep Clarity and Alignment
By Krista Resnick – Master Life Coach/Boundary Expert.
Well, here we are….2023. A brand new year. I don’t know about you, but I am always inspired by a fresh, clean slate. However, despite my attempts, year after year, by February I had always given up on my goals. Looking back, what I had failed to recognize was that in order to create and experience the life I really craved, it would be required that I do some things differently in my life. And that required that I took some responsibility.
One of the ways that I learned to do this was through looking at the feedback of the results in my life. I had to get honest. Honest about what wasn’t working in my life. Honest about what conversations I wasn’t willing to have. Honest about where I wasn’t prioritizing myself. Honest about what boundaries I wasn’t willing to set and honest about where my people pleasing ways were keeping me stuck in exhaustion and overdrive.
Feedback is a power tool because it helps us recognize where our work lies.
For this article, I’m not talking about any old feedback, I’m talking about feedback from yourself. I’m talking about using the rich content from your own life to enlighten yourself. Feedback is a way to SEE ourselves from a new perspective and create REAL change. It is a way that we can learn and grow. The alternative is life handing us the same lesson, over and over until we get it.
So that is what this article is all about-examining the past year and collecting the feedback and choosing what we want to carry with us and what we want to leave behind. Following are some powerful questions to help you use the feedback of your own life to create what it is you want in 2023.
The hope is that you will grab a journal and set aside some designated time to reflect on the richness that these questions offer.
1. What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about 2022…??? What did 2022 reveal to you?
Maybe it revealed to you how disconnected you’ve been from white space on the calendar. Maybe it revealed how you need far less to live than you thought. Maybe it revealed some boundaries that need to be established. Maybe it revealed to you that you want to prioritize yourself-maybe it revealed to you how dependent you are on technology and that you want to shift that and build more interaction in your life.
What I love so much about this process is that your outside circumstances are causes for you to go inward to reveal to you what you need to see for your own growth and evolution. I know it’s not easy, but if you’re willing to be honest with yourself-your life will never be the same.
2. Think about the different elements of your life…health, relationships, career, self development, finances, parenting, fun & enjoyment, spiritual awareness-what are you proud of? What have you done or accomplished? What beautiful experiences have you had? What have you survived?
This question helps to extract our skills, gifts, talents, learnings, and aha’s so that we might be able to apply them in our life moving forward.
3. Next I invite you to reflect on the question…where did I fall short and WHY?
I know you started 2022 with some goals and intentions so where did you fall short? Where did you not see the results that you anticipated? While this question can be tough to answer I also love this question because it shows us what we are giving our power to. Where or in what relationships is our codependency showing up in? Where might we be struggling to set a boundary or what conversation aren’t we willing to have? What area might you not be prioritizing your needs? Were you clear on what you needed or what your needs even are?
4. What stops you from slowing down, prioritizing yourself and being present to life? (you may not think this question applies to you, but really sit with it.)
View this question from the lens of what actually happened in your life this year. Did you find yourself despite the shutdown, still feeling a constantness, and overwhelm and pressurization? This can be really great information to support you in thinking about what boundaries you want to set in 2023.
5. Where did you not take action because you were afraid and what were you afraid of?
Was it boundaries with your kids? Was it confusion around your values? Were you terrified of being visible? Did you not simply know the next step? Did you hesitate in asking for what you need?
6. Where did you allow your energy to be depleted in 2020? In what situations and with what people?
Again, this question is so profound because once you identify your areas of depletion, you can then begin to think about what boundaries you might need moving forward.
After you’ve completed these questions, get clear on what you want to leave behind. On a fresh piece of paper write down the beliefs, attachments, patterns of behavior-things that I am releasing (maybe an intense self critic, charging less that my worth for my services, not honoring my boundaries, watching too much Netflix). What do I NOT want to take with me into 2023? Don’t pick a ton, less is more. By choosing too many things, it can make it too overwhelming and nothing gets accomplished. Simply pick 3-5 things and stick with those.
Before you close out this process I encourage you to sit for a moment or two and cultivate a feeling of gratitude for all of the lessons and struggles you have endured. Perhaps you repeat the following mantra to yourself: I am grateful I have learned what I’ve needed to learn. I am complete.
Lastly, I invite you to celebrate. One of the major components to your sustainable success is the ability to praise yourself. You’ve come a long way-you’ve been through a lot-you’ve survived a lot, you’ve learned a lot. That deserves a celebration. Life is a mirror and when you appreciate yourself and your journey, you will be appreciated by others too. Others are reflecting back to you what you believe about yourself. So praise starts at home with you.
Krista Resnick is a Master Life coach who supports women in moving from overwhelm to ease. Join her upcoming free workshop, Clear Is Kind – Vision Planning Party – Boundary Style to create New Year’s Intentions using the power of boundaries to reclaim your time and energy for your best year: https://coach.kristaresnick.com/planning-party/
